Justin, in a reflective email exchange, shared his journey of seeking satisfaction, acknowledging it as a perpetual pursuit. He admitted that his sense of contentment had remained elusive until he encountered the theories of QAnon. This enigmatic belief system, despite its contentious existence on the internet, captivated Justin, a former TED employee turned Brooklyn entrepreneur. He gained notoriety for his enthusiastic involvement in the QAnon-Trump narrative, notably participating in the Stop the Steal protest in Washington, DC, on January 6 of the prior year. Yet, he now expresses regret, asserting that he wouldn’t have participated if he had foreseen the event’s violent turn.
Intrigued by a news story about a remorseful QAnon adherent named Justin, I sought to learn more about his experiences. After connecting with him, he requested anonymity, preferring the use of only his first name. Throughout our exchanges, Justin exhibited a sense of deradicalization, displaying candor, earnestness, and introspection regarding his past decisions. Reflecting on the period preceding January 6, he confessed to disassociating from reality, resulting in the loss of friendships and acknowledging his condescending behavior towards others as wrong.
In his effort to mend relationships and forge ahead with a new business venture, Justin distanced himself from the Stop the Steal movement, denouncing any support for violence on January 6. When questioned about his belief in QAnon’s foundational concept of a vast child-abuse network, he denied subscribing to it, expressing a hopeful desire that such a notion did not exist.
Contemplating the discrepancy between reality and individuals’ private convictions, I grappled with the challenge of engaging with those harboring beliefs starkly misaligned with truth. Reflecting on Freud’s notion that personal beliefs need not align with reality for the sake of human connection, I pondered the implications. While understanding the acceptance of religious faith or personal credos, I questioned the plausibility of maintaining friendships with individuals anchored in fantasy worlds profoundly at odds with reality. False empirical claims, such as those propagated by QAnon, demand vigilance in rejecting facts, potentially estranging others and fostering condescending attitudes or incitement to violence.
Referencing the late Harvard psychiatrist John Mack, who studied individuals claiming to have been abducted by aliens, I recalled his transformation from skepticism to sharing his subjects’ outlandish beliefs, despite lacking empirical evidence. Mack’s endorsement of their stories, akin to certain credentialed professionals today aligning with anti-vaxxers, exemplified the perplexity of embracing unsubstantiated beliefs based on personal emotional needs rather than factual evidence.
Justin’s experience paralleled Mack’s in finding profound spiritual awareness and euphoria within QAnon’s narratives. He reflected on his upbringing’s influence on his inclination towards deeper philosophical questions, hinting at a familial predisposition towards supernatural ideas or susceptibility to disinformation. Recognizing that trying to uproot beliefs intertwined with personal joy may only inflict pain, I acknowledged the complexity of challenging deeply held convictions.
Understanding that these tales serve psychological purposes, providing emotional fulfillment rather than empirical evidence, I realized the challenge of disputing beliefs rooted in pleasure rather than factuality. Justin, acknowledging the drawbacks of his euphoric state and its impact on his responsibilities, illustrates the commonality of transient fervor disrupting typical behavior, yet commendably, he endeavors to rectify his course swiftly.
Questioning Justin’s perspective on the 2020 election’s outcome, I received a succinct reply affirming his belief in its theft by Joe Biden, highlighting the enduring complexity of reconciling personal convictions with objective reality.